Whose Afraid of The Big Bad Wolf
How Victims Build Their Emotional House on Sand
Studies have shown that most rape victims carry an energy that makes them a good target. Rapists pick their victims on an energetic level. They will most likely pass over strong, confident, self assured women in favor of those who are lacking in confidence and don’t feel worthy.
Rapists are also able to detect who is more fearful. The more fear a woman carries in her energy field the better victim she will be. That is because the rapist knows he can control and dominate through fear.
When I was in my early twenties I was in a terrible physically abusive relationship where I was continually subjected to my partner’s domination and control of me. At one point he tried to strangle me and something changed in me. I actually no longer feared death!
I got up from that particular abusive episode and I was no longer afraid of him. He completely lost his power over me! I was able to easily leave that relationship and he went in search of an easier target.
If you want to stop attracting perpetrators you must stop being a victim! Find your strength! Find your power! Take responsibility for your own feelings and get the help you need to heal your own inner wounds!
Once you do this when the big bad wolf comes around wanting to blow your emotional house down, you will have built it with stone! He will have no power and you will be detached from the sound of his breath huffing and puffing on the other side of your door. You will say to yourself “And why would I want to let you in? You’re a wolf!”
You no longer need to focus on the fact he is a wolf! A wolf is simply a wolf! You just don’t want to let a wolf in your emotional door. You don’t have to make him bad or wrong for being a wolf! He is just a wolf!
You don’t want to invite a wolf to dinner! You don’t have to spend your precious time and energy trying to convince him he is a wolf so he will change! A wolf doesn’t change into anything else. It is always just a wolf.
When dealing with those who are incapable of caring for other human beings, you need to begin looking at it like you would the wolf. He is what he is and you can’t change that! So you may as well set him free to his own experience in life and free yourself from his energetic control.
Building your emotional house with stone means you become impenetrable to perpetrators. You have released yourself from the victim/perpetrator paradigm. You have released yourself from the cycle of abuse that would have continued either with the same person or another.
Now you are no longer afraid of the big bad wolf! He loses his taste for you and goes after easier prey! Be grateful when this happens!
Be grateful when your abusive lover leaves you for another relationship! Know this has happened because you are no longer a good little victim. You are starting to get stronger, and make more demands for yourself.
He is in search of you, ten years ago, or a year ago or wherever you were when he met you. Back when you still had stars in your eyes and saw him as the sheep he pretended to be instead of the wolf in sheep’s clothing.
He is in search of a victim! You, on the other hand are looking for the sheep you fell for who didn’t really ever exist. You are waking up to the truth and this is a dangerous thing for the perpetrator. He is a master of trickery and his intent is to fool the shepherd into believing he is a sheep.
O.K. so now you see it! He is really a wolf pretending to be a sheep. Why do you waste so much of your precious time and energy trying to convince yourself he is really a wolf? Why are you still hoping, maybe if he realizes he is really a wolf he will get therapy and become the sheep you need to believe he is?
How many people come to me asking if there is hope for the narcissist? Those who are asking me if there is a cure for narcissism are still looking for the wolf to become the sheep he initially pretended to be.
If you are looking to cure the narcissist you have to come to accept your own co-dependency! You are hoping through curing the narcissist that you will feel better about yourself! It doesn’t work that way!
Your focus needs to be on yourself, not the narcissist! He is simply a wolf! He will always be a wolf! You, on the other hand need to stop wondering around lost in the fields looking for the sheep that never existed!
The answer is and has always been within you! Looking outside of yourself for the answer will bring a long chain of disappointments for you. Changing others will not bring you peace or wholeness.
Perpetrators look for those who are looking for their other half. They will not pursue people who are whole and complete within themselves. Why? Because when you are whole you are not needy!
When you feel like you are just a half in search of someone to complete you, you are needy! You believe you need someone outside of yourself to be whole. This makes you ripe for the pickin!
When you become whole within yourself you lose your appeal to the wolves of the world. You are no longer full of holes that need to be filled. You are no longer sending out the subconscious message that you need someone to complete you! You have now built your house with stone and are a victim no more!