Coming Out Of The Dark
Finding The Light Within
A few weeks ago I released the E-book, “Spiritual Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse” teaching victims of this horrific type of emotional abuse how to deal with their issues from a spiritual perspective.
Although I have successfully overcome my own abuse issues I was not prepared for what would come up after releasing this book. The whole issue of dark energy came up for me to look at in a way I had not really contemplated before. I realize I have so much more to share on this topic that I hope will be helpful for anyone dealing with it.
What I really began to explore was the energy we hold towards our abusers. I came to realize that as long as we are holding anger and resentment towards those whom we feel have done us wrong we are still in a victim role and still perpetuating the problem.
The most powerful way to move beyond victimhood is to learn the lesson brought to us by the experience and to see the perpetrator as the one who has delivered the lesson.
This is a lesson that has brought us the opportunity to become stronger and more powerful within ourselves. The opportunity for growth is always there, right in front of our faces. Whether or not we seize that opportunity is up to us!
We can continue to be victims and focus our attention and energy on what was done to us, or we can use this experience to step more fully into our power.
Our choice has nothing to do with the people who have brought the lesson to us, they will likely go on being exactly who they are and bringing the lesson to others. The sooner we can accept them for who they are, the sooner we can unplug the psychic chords between us and separate from that reality.
When we can forgive the perpetrator in our life and set him free to his own experience of life, we are no longer sending him the psychic energy of hatred, anger, resentment, fear and pain. This is the emotional energy that keeps us stuck. We are staying psychically connected to these people through our own energetic feelings towards them.
It is not always easy to release our feelings towards someone. We come to adopt a belief that “he made me feel this way!” The truth is he really doesn’t have this much power! We give him the power to make us feel a certain way. We have learned on some level to give our power away.
The only way to heal these painful emotions is to own them! We need to take responsibility for how we feel and then take action to change the way we feel. For example you may feel really angry or sad right now. If I were to ask you why you feel angry or sad you may start to talk about what he or she did or said to you that caused you to feel this way.
What I would ask you to do is to take responsibility for the reaction you have to his actions.
Ironically once we unplug from another person we take the power away from him to cause us any reaction at all.
I once had an experience with a man who, as a result to my telling him I couldn’t work with him, decided to verbally attack me. He proceeded to tell me everything he believed was wrong with me! I chose not to engage with him and simply detached while he attacked me. Each time he said something to me I said in reply to him “I’m sorry you feel that way!” He continued to get angrier and angrier because he couldn’t get me to react to him. I stayed fully in my power which completely diffused him.
If I was feeling bad about myself and still struggling with feelings of low self-worth he may have triggered me with his attacks. I may have taken it personally and really believed those things he was saying about me.
Fortunately by this time in my journey, I realized his words had absolutely nothing to do with me and everything to do with him. He was projecting his own unconscious beliefs about himself onto me. If I defended myself against his attacks that would give him power because I would have engaged with him. By not engaging he is left holding the bag of feelings because he was unsuccessful at pawning it off on me.
The reason we are left feeling so disempowered after dancing with someone who is hell bent on taking our power, is that we have been conditioned to accept responsibility for his unconscious projections. We come to believe on some level that his issues are our fault.
It is more likely that the perpetrator in our life truly feels worthless on the deepest level and in attempt to hide from his feelings of worthlessness he tries to make us feel worthless.
One can only succeed at making us feel worthless if we have some underlying unconscious feelings of worthlessness within us. He is triggering what is already lying dormant within.
Once we recognize that we do have some feelings of worthlessness we can set out to heal this within ourselves. We can take the necessary steps to build ourselves up and feel good about who we are.
Get to the place where you can thank the person in your life that has brought you the opportunity to stop being a victim and step more fully into your power! See him as a teacher whose job it was to deliver the lesson. Let him go! Learn the lesson and be a better person as a result of it.